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" Yes sir what?" he coaxed slyly. I didn't want to say it because it felt too much like admitting to my own complicity but I also couldn't stop myself so it was with a sense of horrified detachment that I heard myself whimpering, "I love yo-your sperm in-inside me Uncle Phil."The most horrific thing was that I actually meant it.Despite how wrong I knew it all was I'd never felt so sexually satisfied in my young life.Now there was no question of calling it rape in my mind.Whatever Uncle Phil had done to me I was now his accomplice and I knew I would never be able to say no to him.I was his to do with as he pleased.With that realization a strange sense of peace settled over me.As if it was out of my hands now, and as Phil whispered into my ear, rubbing my belly, I guess I eventually drifted off to sleep.I'm not sure how long I was out but the next thing I remember is Uncle Phil shaking me awake and insisting, "Come on Sabrina, we have to get you cleaned up before your parents get. I am definitely not a feminist. Feminism is essentially a social and political movement for and about White women, thank you very much. Rather than distance myself from my people, I embrace them. I love my fellow Muslims. I love my fellow Somalis. I love my family. Fuck the haters! When you’re a strong Black Muslim woman who happens to be queer, life can certainly be lonely. It’s almost as if I am too strong for my own good. Strong women are said to intimidate weak men. Well, apparently, strong women intimidate weak women as well. My Hooyo ( Somali term of endearment which means mother ) jokingly asked me when I would get off my big butt and bring home a nice gal. My mother looked into my eyes after saying this, and I realized that she was dead serious. I took a deep breath, wondering how best to answer her. I laughed and told my mother that I was too busy with work and school to chase the girlies. My mother nodded, but like any Somali mother, I knew she wouldn’t be able to resist.
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